1 750ml Bottle of Merlot (for Alyson)
1 750ml Bottle of Chardonnay (for me)
Fresh Italian Bread from the Bakery
Provolone Cheese so sharp it makes your gums sting
Sautéed Italian Hot Peppers (about ½ of a bushel)
Whether at her house or mine, a huge frying pan would be on the stove; one of us peeling a whole head of garlic and the other snapping stems off of the peppers. First thing’s first… OPEN THE WINE! We would sauté the peeled & coarsely chopped garlic in about ½ an inch of Olive Oil until it was just turning brown. Then we would throw in the Italian Long Hot Peppers and stir them around so they would all be coated with the oil. Wait… GLASS #2…
We’d throw in some crushed red pepper flakes, a handful of chicken bouillon powder, black pepper and garlic powder then give it another stir. With the heat on high, we would then pour in about 1 inch of the juice from a jar of Hot Cherry Peppers. As the steam erupted in the pan, we threw in some of the cherry peppers then were quick to slap on the lid and turn the peppers down low to simmer. Boy, I’m thirsty… GLASS #3…
As the smell of the simmering peppers wafted through the room, neither of us could concentrate on the movie; that’s how we knew they were done! We had 2 recliners side by side with an end table in between them. On it was now a huge basket of bread, a board filled with sliced Provolone and a frying pan overloaded with these red & green gems… WE’D BETTER FILL OUR GLASSES!
By the time the first movie was over, the frying pan would be empty. As Alyson started to cough and my eyes started to water, we shared the best part… we sopped up all of the flavored oil with whatever was left of the bread! Our mouths were on fire! IS THERE ANY WINE LEFT?
Here we were… two best friends creating a tradition; sharing our Sundays together. By movie number 2 we would both be sleeping but we were extremely content. She had seasoned me into becoming a champ at eating these delectable hot morsels and I was very proud… until about 3:00am that is…
My eyes would pop open and I would quickly wake from a sound sleep! I had all I could do to make it to the bathroom and I always spent the rest of the night right there; the great thinker! These peppers were kicking my butt and the wine was making my head pound; how could I do this to myself??? NEVER AGAIN!!!
The next day I always felt like a million bucks though; nice and trim and (err-uh) cleansed, with the faint smell of garlic still sitting in the air. AHHHHH Sundays… to this day, every time I smell garlic simmering I think of Alyson; she can eat an entire frying pan by herself now; always could! Me, on the other hand… my poor tummy just can’t take it anymore… 1 measly pepper with the seeds removed has me up for 3 days!
I read somewhere that Montezuma was some sort of Greek god or something but the real truth is that he was actually Italian… by injection, of course! His wife was straight off of the boat from Italy and she was the only one in all of the land who could grow the long red & green peppers that he loved so much. She cooked these peppers with bushels of fragrant garlic and he ate them everyday. One night while they were sleeping… someone ransacked the garden and stole every last one of her hot pepper plants. Upon discovering this the next morning, Montezuma called the village together for a meeting to see if anyone would admit to stealing his wife’s missing treasures. All inquiries were blatantly denied. He clenched his fists tight as rage ran through him and lightning smacked across the now blackened sky and he declared his revenge; great turmoil in the hollow of the belly of all common man whose lips should ever dare to touch one morsel of these beloved gems, causing relentless upset and discomfort for all of eternity! Hence; “Montezuma’s Revenge”!!!
If you’re into hot stuff… give ‘em a try; they’re worth it!
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